Who has the wisdom to count the clouds?Job 38:37
The answer is rhetorical, but I wrote it in my journal anyway: GOD DOES. Literally. I wrote it down in all caps.
We might believe in God without batting an eye–deeply ingrained trust and truths we know from years of reading and hearing. This kind of belief is important and valid. But lately I’ve been longing for an even deeper kind of belief. The kind that really, truly believes God.
I’ve struggled with such heaviness in the past six months, and I’m sure you can relate in some regard. Feeling like a failure in so many facets. Worried on behalf of friends and family. Worried about health concerns. Disappointments from cancelled plans. Uncertainty constantly looming. All of these feelings and situations challenged my belief–or lack thereof–in God Himself. Do I truly believe Him? Do I believe He is still good and faithful (Psalm 100:5)? Do I believe He will never leave or forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6)? Do I believe what He says is truly true (Isaiah 45:19)? Do I believe His sovereignty is steady and strong (Isaiah 40:10)?
I’ve been wrestling with this same sort of belief in God concerning the racial reconciliation conversation. As I learn more about racial profiling, white privilege, and cultural inequalities, do I believe God when He says I am thoroughly sinful and often complicit in these offenses, whether it be intentional or unknowing (Romans 3)? My guilt is a reality I do not want to fully acknowledge–it’s painful, uncomfortable, hits too close to home. But the question remains: do I believe Him? And then, on the other side of admitting the weight of my sin, do I equally believe God when He says I am forgiven and His mercy covers and His grace is sufficient even for such as me (Romans 5)? Praise be to God: “we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand” (Romans 5:1-2).
Do I believe God?
Here is your God!
The Sovereign LORD comes with power and His arm rules for Him. He tends His flock like a shepherd. He gathers. He carries. He gently leads.
Who was it that taught the LORD knowledge or showed Him the path of understanding? Before Him all nations are as nothing. To whom, then, will you compare God? He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth.
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.Portions of Isaiah 40
Amen. This is the Word of the Lord. It is true and reliable. “As we move forward in the midst of where we are, help us to believe you even when we can’t see you” (Emily P. Freeman, The Next Right Thing). I believe! God, please help my pockets of unbelief (Mark 9:24).