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Two years ago, I stuck my head in our very small pantry, probably to throw something away, and had a small moment of panic, with hyperventilating and gasping-prayer. I vividly remember pausing there a moment to try to get a full, deep breath and to manage some sort of prayer. “Jesus. Help me.” Our foster childrens’ biological grandma was sitting just a couple of steps away from me. And my daughter was sitting on her lap doing a craft. It felt like I was living a surreal, out-of-body experience. Moving back into the room with them. Trying not to hover. Continuing to smile and to nod and to be gracious through the remainder of grandma’s visit with us.
What sustained me during that moment of our crazy foster-to-adopt journey, and so many others like it? Jesus. It’s just Jesus, my friends. Jesus and His promises.
Faithful, You are! Faithful, forever You will be.
Faithful, You are! All Your promises are Yes and Amen.
I will rest in Your promises.
My confidence in Your faithfulness.
Housefires (watch here)
There is absolutely nothing else in this life perfectly steady and firm like Jesus. The only thing that sustained me and kept me going was Jesus. He was/is my “anchor for the soul” (Hebrews 6:19). My heart was scared and on the verge of being cracked into pieces. My feelings were off-the-charts crazy. My physical response to the stress was real (stress headaches are no fun!). But still, there was Jesus. I literally planted my heart on His promises when all else was slipping and sliding around me–it became an almost literal, physical feeling of my heart holding onto Jesus. If I couldn’t believe Jesus, then everything would have collapsed. His promises are the only things in this life that are truly “yes” and “amen: let it be so.” And that is what sustained me during our entire foster-to-adopt journey.
Psalm 62 helped me often when I needed to cling to truth about God. First, we tell our souls to find rest in God alone. Why? Because is our Rock, our Salvation, our Fortress (that will not be shaken), our Honor, our Mighty Rock, our Refuge. These are all promises of Who He Will Be for us. Second, we tell our minds to trust in Him at all times. That’s a verbatim quote: “AT ALL TIMES.” How can we do that? Because He is God and He is good at all times. “You are good and You do what is good” (Psalm 119:68). Third, we tell our hearts to pour out to Him. Why? Because He is our Refuge. Our souls, minds and hearts all pointed toward Jesus in the midst of trouble, clinging to Who He Is.
Where are you today? What is crumbling around you or in your heart? This life is hard, friends. There will be hard roads, doubt, fear, death, frustration, wayward children, physical suffering, sin struggles, and the list goes on. These are certain to come to us, in some form, at some point. But what is even more certain? Jesus. Trust Jesus despite it all. Stay with Jesus no matter what. Nothing else is sure in this life; nothing else is firm or forever or any sort of good foundation except for Jesus. He is truly firm and foundational and faithful. We can bank our very lives on Who He is and His promises to us.
If you don’t have Jesus, then truly what do you have? The answer is nothing. You will eventually have nothing. So keep coming to Jesus. Even when you’re scared or doubting or unsure or feeling hopeless. “It is the help we experience, not the hazards we risk, that shapes our days” (Eugene Peterson, A Long Obedience in the Same Direction). So keep coming to Him, and then come some more.
One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard:
that You, O God, are strong,
and that You, O Lord, are loving.
The other day I asked my son why we can trust God even when we are angry or when we don’t understand Him or what He’s doing or what He’s allowing. And JD answered without missing a beat: “Because He loves us.” My eyes filled with tears–yes, that is why we can trust Him. Oh Jesus, please “make my steps steady through Your promise” (Psalm 119:133).
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