I’ve been thinking lately about our long journey to adopt through the foster care system, which we are still in the middle of. Yes, the need is great. My heart is thrilled when I hear of a family who decides to adopt through the foster system. Yet, I wanted to chat a little about two areas that may sometimes be portrayed stereotypically and not always accurately–specifically, the areas of finances and timing.
FINANCES
Yes, adoption through foster care tends to be cheaper than adopting internationally or via domestic infant adoption–but this is not always true. For example, if the adoption is contested in court by the biological family, then the potential adoption family may rack up considerable private attorney fees. Also, when a “normal” adoption case is dragged out, then the attorney fees increase as well. The numbers vary widely but a “typical” adoption through foster care may cost anywhere from $2000-$15,000, depending on the timing and complexity of the particular case. The point is: there is nothing “normal” or “typical” about the financial side of adoptions because of the unknowns in each unique story.
TIMING
Yes, foster-to-adopt stories can happen quickly–but it’s not always the case. Some cases are finalized fast if biological parents choose to voluntarily sign over their rights. Or perhaps the children are already available and waiting for adoption. In the fall publication of the Indiana Adoption Program magazine, there are 172 children listed as available for adoption. I counted them, each precious face just waiting. These cases would move quickly to adoption, perhaps even as fast as six months to completion.
On the other side of the spectrum, some foster-to-adopt cases take years and years to finalize for a variety of reasons. Perhaps the agency or county are slow to get placements or the right placement just takes awhile to come along. Or it may be the family starts a case only to have the biological parents take back their children (which is the hard place of heartbreaking and also of praise the Lord). I talked to a gal just last week who is on her third placement in a year. All were placements she thought may lead to adoption but ended up going in a different direction, and the children were removed. Or perhaps the case is dragged out in court–processes are back-logged at the Department of Child Services or maybe the parents really do try for a while but then relapse. Whatever the reason, reaching the point of adoption with a foster case is not a cut-and-dried matter. There are few shortcuts or easy roads.
Actually, I’ve become convinced that all roads to adoption are financially draining and usually long. International adoption is hard. Domestic infant adoption is hard. Foster care adoption is hard.
OUR STORY: FINANCES + TIMING
Bryce and I started working on our foster license in 2011 while pregnant with our firstborn, and we were licensed just after he was born in 2012. We did respite for three years (essentially babysitting for fellow foster parents) while waiting for a long-term placement. I can vividly remember sitting on the sun room floor at our previous house, sobbing after another “failed” possible placement, and praying: “Why, God? Why, when we are open and ready for a long-term placement, nothing seems to be happening?” In 2013 our second biological son was born, and we fostered again in 2014 with a few more respite placements.
One sweet girl, Miss Z, came to us suddenly in April 2015, and I really grew to love her. But then a month later we had 24 hours notice, and she was removed to live with a grandma. Little did we know that a curly-haired boy was born that very month. July 2015–that sweet baby boy joined our family. February 2016–his two precious sisters joined our family. And now, three years later, we’re praying a three-way adoption will take place in 2019. Not to get into all of the financial nitty-gritty, but our case will cost thousands more than we initially anticipated (thankful for God’s miraculous provision!). This happened mostly because of the long and complicated nature of the court case, the extra work our attorneys have done for us, and the simple fact that we are adopting three at once!
Ours is an expensive foster-to-adopt story nine years in the making! Adopting from the foster system is not a straight forward road! But it’s a character-building, courage-calling, holy-ground kind of road. If you hear the call, don’t hesitate. Find that holy road and start walking. You can bet He’ll provide all the stamina and resources you’ll need along the way.
