This might be a bit crazy, but I think there was a season back in 2016-2018 when my hair was trying to tell me something. I thought I was losing my curls. Seriously, I’ve had crazy curly hair for my whole life and then suddenly my hair started acting . . . wavy. Even sort of straight at times. It was so sad–I really love my curls. But I realized hair can change, so I figured I was simply getting old and the curls were changing/fading.
But just last week, I looked in the mirror and happily exclaimed: my curls are back! I know in cases of severe life situations hair can suddenly turn white or drastically change in some other way. Sometimes the condition of our hair clues us in to the depth of our stress and distress. But it never ever occurred to me until recently that perhaps my hair was subtly indicating the depth of my interior turmoil.
The years 2016-2018 were the most stressful of my life so far. In 2016 our family grew from five people to seven overnight. We also kind of spur-of-the-moment put our house on the market, sold it two months later, bought a fixer upper home, and then moved in with my in-laws so Bryce could work on the said fixer upper.
Then in 2017 our foster-to-adopt case literally exploded. We’re talking foreign embassies, biological relatives showing up we didn’t know about, and so many court hearings. My stress was off the charts, not to mention actually moving into the fixer upper and starting to home school. Jesus was so good; and because of Him, my faith was strong and thriving. But stress still takes a toll on the inside (and apparently on the outside too).
The year 2018 was a year of waiting. Mostly waiting on biological family to appeal and on the court of appeals to make their decision. What a relief to finally receive our answer in October of that year: “Yes, let’s set an adoption date.”
In so many ways, 2019 was a year of recovery and peace. And also apparently the year of the resurgence of curly hair.
A couple of thoughts on this side of my realization:
It’s important to pay attention when our body is trying to tell us something. Lean in and listen and watch. Also, it’s really important to take care of ourselves physically during those deep seasons. When the soul is aching because of stress, let’s be extra gentle and kind to our physical selves.
I’m not enough
Elevation Worship — listen here
Unless You come
Would You meet me here again
Cause all I want
Is all You are
Will You meet me here again
Not for a minute was I forsaken
The Lord is in this place
It really amazes me how responsive my hair was to the depth of my inner struggle. And yet. And yet. God’s nearness was just as real and responsive. Not for a minute was I forsaken. Not for a minute did He fail to meet me. I wasn’t enough but always He was enough.
Read more about our adoption journey:
When our family suddenly grew from five to seven
When we were waiting for the judge’s decision
Sister, your words are a gift. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. ♥️
And your encouragement is a gift in return! Thank you so much.